miss_kae_oz: (rainy)
Early mornings are beautiful. The world feels empty and quiet. I forget how much I love not having people around. I like knowing that they are out there, but at this moment, I have this space and time to myself. This is why I used to love to stay up and watch the sun rise.

I must be getting older; waking up is not even close to as painful as it used to be. A lot of people do not like mornings, they used to make me physically ill.

It is quite strange for me, having to be up in the mornings, aka, having to go to sleep early at night. While everyone else was out boogying their booties at DNA, I was at home, popping a sleeping pill and drifting off to Lord Of The Rings. Tomorrow, I must be up and on the bus by 8:30am. Tonight 2 of my all time favorite bands are playing at DNA, Slave Unit and Babyland. I will probably not go. Having to be up by 6:30 means bed before midnight. I am tempted to go and see how much of the show I can catch before having to go home to sleep. Knowing me, this is not a good idea. I tend to get carried away by faulty logic swayed by my desire to stay. Alas.

But, what I am doing is important to me. It is worth it. Mostly. And I get to enjoy gorgeous mornings such as this. I just wish someone would unlock the bathroom door.


Apr. 30th, 2008 03:49 pm
miss_kae_oz: (Asskicking boots)
Tomorrow is the "Big Day". My first (and hopefully not only) day I present as a representative of Project Survive. I am a bit nervous. While most classes are easy going for the most part, there is still the idea that one is potentially challenging what people were brought up to believe and have believed their whole lives. Will I be able to make good arguments on behalf of Project Survive if challenged? And will I be able to do so without being argumentative or aggressive? I sure hope so.
Even more intimidating, next week I have to do a very similar presentation, Expect Respect, only for highschoolers. I know my friends were little shits when we had presentations we were forced to sit through. Man, we resented having a bunch of b.s. forced upon us. But, I hope, what we have to present is not bullshit, and is actually engaging and relevant.
This semester is coming to a close quickly.
Send me good wishes!!!
miss_kae_oz: (Default)
I really like City College. I think it is an amazing idea that contributes immensly to the community on many levels.
This asside, sometimes...a lot of times it is trying to attend classes here. The fact that it is open enrollment can make it difficult to tolerate on some levels.
A couple classes required for my program are health classes with no pre-req's at all and am also taking one phys-ed. Because of this, I end up with people from all walks of life in my classes. ALL walks of life.
Teachers at CCSF are more socio-political than academic. And they love "the group dynamic" and are always having us work in pairs and groups. Which in theory, sounds great. But I seem to constantly get paired with the semi-retarded student. I don't mean that as a slur, I mean it quite literally. Students to whom it takes explaining that they are supposed to using their right arm and are instead using their left, and they do not have the ability to recognize which arm they are moving.
And in my groups, I get a lot of people who are in recovery from substance abuse problems (and quite a bit more with that) after long term use.I think it is great that CCSF has programs to help people get their lives on track after such a turn, but... These people are really in the very beginnings of a long process and I don't have any desire to be a part of their "process".
There are so many limitations and rules they want to implement to every situation, and they are still at the point where they can turn every subject into something to do with their addiction or therapy. And they still have a lot of their physical habits aquired through years of abuse.
Really, my grade is based on the quality of work of the group as a whole. I just don't think this is a fair situation when so paired. One teacher said we should get used to working in groups as it reflects dynamics of work situations. But in work situations, people have to apply for jobs, pass tests and screenings. And they do happen to hire a mentally disabled person, they don't base the rest of the staffs performance on the the disabled employee's abilities.
I am in class to learn, not be a teachers assistant to those who need extra time and attention, which is what it seems I spend a lot of my time being.


Mar. 5th, 2007 05:13 pm
miss_kae_oz: (Default)
I got my grades from my test on my bad day last week. 1 point away from an 'A'. Part of me is a little bit relieved I didn't botch it more that that, but I am also pissed I didn't get at least 1 more question right. Especially when I see the ones I got wrong in retrospect.
Must do much better in future.


miss_kae_oz: (Default)

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