the inaccurate narration of events which ought not to have happened.

Reading dali_drama's recent post really got my blood up. And I couldn't help but think of one of the books I am reading "Men's Work" by Paul Kivel.
If you have hung out with me in person recently, you probably have heard me mention this book. Paul Kivel does work with Oakland mens groups, including workshops with men soon to be released from prison. It is about the relation of how men are raised and violence and sexism.
In the book when he asks a couple of the guys in the prison program "if you are walking down the street and get turned on, does that girl owe you anything [sex]
?" and they answere "[Yes]If she is the one who caused it".
There are a lot of these kind of statements. Statements that show there are still a hell of a lot of men who still think of women only in their relation to men and what they provide them.
Having to deal with men in this fashion is one of the most frustrating, anger inducing, and dehumanizing things in females lives. And we are often made to feel oversensitive and overemotional when we react to not being allowed our own space, our own feelings, and just the general respect men expect on a daily basis.
Yes, this is a sensitive thing with me.

*end rambling rant*

I am at a loss of words. Actually, I had plenty, but I have been keeping those posts private as the spewing of negativity and anger is worse than ever and I will not subject people to that.

Lets just say ending a day of stories of rape and oppression with the documentary Dialogues with Madwomen did not leave me at the end of the day with the light of humanity in my soul. In fact, along with some fantasies of homicide, I was near crying while waiting for my bus.
After waiting 20 minutes for a bus and still no sight of it, I decided I needed a cookie and took BART downtown instead. A few breaths and a bit of chocolate chip therapy helped a little.
Now I have a paper due tomorrow about how these topics - incest, molestation, abuse, murder, rape, violence[s], sexism, classism, oppression, etc - relate to my past personal experience. I should have been writing it tonight, but I find myself avoiding it with an intense desire to watch schlock tv shows and movies.
There is a reason the teacher recommends students taking classes in this department to take advantage of the free counseling the Student Health Center offers.

I once again missed Fail Safe. I really wanted to make it out tonight. Diana and Matt were even going to be there, and I hate to miss an opportunity to see Miss Diana as she does not go out as much these days. But, I fell asleep around 9pm and did not wake up till midnight and Kit convinced me it was too late to head out. Alas. Perhaps, it is better. I probably would have broke and drank too much, which I am making a whole new effort to avoid, for the most part. I am not in the right state of mind for what alcohol can lead to in my brain. Next time. I promise. Yosh, I hope your night was rockin'.

BTW - Happy b-day Mr. kitos!!!!!!!!