Men's Work

Apr. 18th, 2008 02:52 am
miss_kae_oz: (Default)
Reading [ profile] dali_drama's recent post really got my blood up. And I couldn't help but think of one of the books I am reading "Men's Work" by Paul Kivel.
If you have hung out with me in person recently, you probably have heard me mention this book. Paul Kivel does work with Oakland mens groups, including workshops with men soon to be released from prison. It is about the relation of how men are raised and violence and sexism.
In the book when he asks a couple of the guys in the prison program "if you are walking down the street and get turned on, does that girl owe you anything [sex]
?" and they answere "[Yes]If she is the one who caused it".
There are a lot of these kind of statements. Statements that show there are still a hell of a lot of men who still think of women only in their relation to men and what they provide them.
Having to deal with men in this fashion is one of the most frustrating, anger inducing, and dehumanizing things in females lives. And we are often made to feel oversensitive and overemotional when we react to not being allowed our own space, our own feelings, and just the general respect men expect on a daily basis.
Yes, this is a sensitive thing with me.

*end rambling rant*
miss_kae_oz: (pygmalion)

I am not going to go into too much depressing detail now, but I promised I would spread the story, so I am.

A couple weeks ago, my teachers friend was raped by her cab driver. She had a couple of drinks and thought it would be unsafe for a woman to be walking alone in the dark to get home. This is not the first nor the last time this has happened. There was the Bubbles Lounge incident where the girl was raped and murdered by her cab driver a few years back. And the emergency room nurse who is the head of the Rape Trauma Center says she has heard a few girls tell of being raped by their cab drivers over the past 6 months.

I am now in a group formed to raise awareness of safety of a girl going home alone, especially after she has been drinking. We will be making safety cards with precautions people can take when cabbing. As I said, I will go more into details later, but while you are out this weekend, just keep an eye out. Try not to let any drunk girl take a cab alone, even if you do not know her. If she has to, try to get her to take a cab that is called specifically for her, not a random hailed cab. Walk her up to the cab and talk to her and the cab driver. Tell her to call you in 10 minutes when she gets home or you will be calling her (this does not have to be the truth, the cab driver just has to think it is). Don't let anyone get in a cab alone where the picture license is not visible or does not match the driver.

We (our group) are not trying to demonize cabbies. We are for taking cabs and the cab industry and are actually consulting the Taxi Commission on our porject. We know the majority of cab drivers are good, hard working guys just trying to pay their bills and do their job. We don't want people choosing a cab to have to make judgement calls on who "seems like a nice guy", especially after drinking. It is dangerous anytime a girl gets in a car with a man alone. Being a cab driver is not a safety check. When proper precautions are made, it will help the legitimate, struggling drivers jobs be protected.

When I have mentioned stuff like this before, no one has taken me seriously. It is my girlie voice and bouncy demeanor, but I do know what I am talking about. And this is serious. When I brought this subject up in a group of 5 girls all hanging out, most of them had cab horror stories to tell. If any of those girls, or any other girls for that matter, who are on my friends list would like to share those stories in a comment here, it would be appreciated.



miss_kae_oz: (Default)

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